No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
