it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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