That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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