Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
