What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Life is so much better after having sex.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
