I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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