upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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