i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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