I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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