Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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