Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize