Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
