I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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