You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
