my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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