i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
