I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
