Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
