I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
