haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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