i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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