I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
