just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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