It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And the cops told us we were all naked.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
