I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
