first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So vagazzling was a success
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
