Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
