I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
