My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
