Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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