I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
