Apparently you make a good broom.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
