i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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