Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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