butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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