clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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