i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize