Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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