My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize