Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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