so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
