drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
