one might say we're banned from that church
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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