I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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