??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You ruined the universe
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
