Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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