Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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