there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize