i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
