Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
