God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You can't just leave with hair like that
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
