Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
