I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
