SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
