I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
nutella sex= disaster
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize