Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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