if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
