Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
