For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
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