no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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